Needs drums and bass
You have to stay on the beat
You might think it's unimportant, but to many people, including me, it's unlistenable this way. You could have done a few more takes. Practice your rhythm.
Then don't listen. Or better yet, DO listen and make sure you know what your talking about before you trying to criticize someone. I've already said there is one part I know I'm off and I didn't feel like going back over it.
Putting this in my game :)
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